Here is a section, a long one, of a letter to my beloved while undergoing internship in Madras medical college. It was 2007. Let me warn you that you may be disappointed if you harbor any romantic expectations from my letter.
"Now let me tell you about my hospital life..."
"In free time we can see cases and learn but mostly we are busy and tired so I don't see any cases to learn. There's nothing much to learn also.. As you know am frustrated with the system of treatment here. Depending on some basic symptoms they are categorized as heart disease or lung disease or stomach disease and all of them are given almost same treatment. For fever they'll give antibiotics for all bacteria, viruses. Then when the patients will improve a bit in a few days they'll send them home. Whenever patients or their attenders complain anything doctors get irritated. Instead of making them understand they scold them. There is no doctor-patient relationship. Doctors treat the patients in a very heartless way, they just use their mind. So they are very insensitive to their patients' sufferings, even their death. It is true that if we involve our hearts too much we will get so emotional that we won't be able to work, but we can't be completely detached. There should be a balance between the mind and the heart. In our hospital whoever does whatever work, he does because if he doesn't do he'll get scolded from the one above him and if he doesn't then he'll ignore his responsibility. No one does anything solely to help and heal the patient. And the whole atmosphere is not at all friendly. The senior person just scolds the junior and tries to get his work done and he tries to impress his own senior by deceiving him. No one here enjoys what they are doing, they are doing everything out of compulsion, work is a burden to them and they try to shed it off as soon as possible. I know this happens in all professions and no one is to be blamed particularly. But in this profession the aim is to restore and maintain good health and this aim can never be achieved in such a unhealthy work atmosphere and work attitudes. Doctors, patients, their attenders, each of us are unhealthy, who will bring good health?
There are so many diseases, so many common conditions where just counseling the patient can help him feel better and there is no need to prescribe drugs for everyone. But feelings are not taken care of in this profession. If a patient has no physical problem but still breathless (because of some mental fear), he is reprimanded and laughed at by the doctors, saying he is acting. They don't know it's not in the hands of the patient, he isn't acting purposefully, he is unconsciously being breathless and he just needs reassurance by doctors that he has no physical problem and he will feel better.
I don't prefer giving drugs for everything. Most of the common conditions get cured by itself in 2-3 days. Our body has good defense system against diseases. Before this defense system can act by giving drugs we weaken this natural system and we get dependent on drugs. Then a time comes when the diseases get resistant to the drugs and we need new drugs to replace them. One thing I have realized is that our mind plays a great role on our body. That is why in this age of stress so many diseases are increasing. Reducing mental stress should be the main aim of doctors if they want to heal their patients. Stress can cause diseases like heart disease, asthma, cancer, hypertension (raised bp). Even increased smoking, drinking causes lung and liver diseases.
Not only these diseases, I believe for any disease if we have a strong mind and if we really want we can ourselves heal our body with the strength of our mind without any medicines. Faith in ourselves, in God and having a healthy mind can reduce most diseases on Earth.
When I planned of becoming a doctor I had the dream of trying to bring good health into the lives of people. So am not satisfied by the present system of medicine which aims not for good health but just to cure a particular disease the patient is complaining of. Without health there is no happiness. I want to bring happiness into the lives of at least a few people till am alive, so I want to be a doctor. But not like conventional doctors - they don't focus the individual as a whole (mind and body) - they just see them as a heart case or lung case.
I recently got a book from British council library - it's name is 'Passionate medicine'. 8 doctors have written about their feelings and their journey as doctors. Am feeling very excited reading it. They all expressed feelings similar to what am feeling now and they have moved from conventional medicine to holistic medicine. Holistic medicine considers individual as a whole - gives importance to the patients' feelings and it helps the body naturally cure itself.
Homeopathy, acupuncture, meditation and so many more things, Ayurveda - these are all part of holistic medicine.
I have always felt interested in these alternative medicines, and after reading this book am feeling this is what I really want to do. I want to learn all these forms of holistic medicine and I want to use them according to what my patients need and want/prefer. Am getting the idea of learning and practicing as a general practitioner. I don't want to do the regular PG (post grad) that everyone does.
I want to learn the alternative medicines of different parts of the world and apply them in most useful way. You know I want to travel and see so many places - and I want to learn from people and places.
I know it will be slightly difficult to have a family and travel far, because you won't be able to shift your job place according to me but I think we can adjust and manage well. As much as I know you, I feel you too can't stay in a single place for too long.
I am feeling very interested in biomedical engineering also.. There is so much scope for new research and bringing drastic changes -advances in medical field through it.
But am facing a clash between my two interests, as always am in a dilemma between two opposite interests - I want to do both, but have to choose only one. On one side am feeling interested to consider health in all its aspects, to try to bring healthiness in the life of people including ours. To do this I want to go in the lines of rules of nature, not against it. Nature has its own way to cure disease, to maintain health and I want to assist people to attain health in a natural way. For example if we pay more attention to hygiene people will get less infection and once a person is infected and he gets fever - we need to understand that raising the temperature of the body is nature's way of fighting the bacteria in the body, which can't survive in that temperature. If we realize this we won't take paracetamol to reduce fever, we can suffer the fever for a few days and get well naturally without antibiotics - which not only kill the germs but also make our body weak from inside. The problem lies in both the doctors and patients' attitude. The patient needs to realize that he is himself responsible for his health and he should in every way possible try to get well himself rather than put all responsibility on the doctor to cure him with medicines. And the doctor instead of just prescribing medicines should make the patient realize why he is having the symptoms he is having, and what the patient can do to cure himself. The condition in India is so poor that this aim is just a dream which will be very difficult to achieve. So many factors in India are against health.
Illiteracy, lack of awareness of healthy ways of living, over-expectancy and over-dependence on doctors, resistance for any change, poverty, lack of values, morality all these factors together I'll have to fight against if I want people to be healthy. It's sure that single handedly I can't do much, but each single individual forms the system and being part of it, I don't want to just blame it and remain aloof. I want to do as much as I can.
The other interest which I am having is towards biomedical engineering. I have always had a scientific mind and the inquisitiveness to know the unknown. I know I'll really enjoy in researching new ideas which can tremendously impact the health of the population. But in trying to go in this direction I'll be ignoring nature, not only will I go against nature, I'll try to gain control over nature with science. If a child has got blind I'll try to develop ways to help him see artificially, if a person's organs are not working properly I'll try to make artificial organs to sustain his life through tissue engineering, if a person has genetic defect I'll try to correct it by changing his genes. And one day surely man will triumph in manipulating nature in this way and dictating nature according to his own wish. He will create creatures with all qualities that he want, he will try to manipulate himself, to increase his physical and mental abilities. He will become God and he won't consider the rules of nature. But I respect nature as God and I have strong faith that the rules of nature are the best rules that anyone can make. It is these rules of nature that has created and sustained life on this planet for so many millions of years. And once we take control over nature and go against it, it will lead to a chaotic state when nature won't be able to sustain life anymore and we will move towards our own decadence - destruction. To think in a broader aspect I feel that this is also a rule of nature, nature had started with small creatures and slowly triumphed with creating us humans - it's biggest achievement. Like in an individualistic level if we are born, it is a rule we should die, similarly nature's creations also should be destroyed one day so that it can make new ones. Since we are the ultimate creation it is us probably who will be the cause of our own destruction because of our power craving attitude.
"Now let me tell you about my hospital life..."
"In free time we can see cases and learn but mostly we are busy and tired so I don't see any cases to learn. There's nothing much to learn also.. As you know am frustrated with the system of treatment here. Depending on some basic symptoms they are categorized as heart disease or lung disease or stomach disease and all of them are given almost same treatment. For fever they'll give antibiotics for all bacteria, viruses. Then when the patients will improve a bit in a few days they'll send them home. Whenever patients or their attenders complain anything doctors get irritated. Instead of making them understand they scold them. There is no doctor-patient relationship. Doctors treat the patients in a very heartless way, they just use their mind. So they are very insensitive to their patients' sufferings, even their death. It is true that if we involve our hearts too much we will get so emotional that we won't be able to work, but we can't be completely detached. There should be a balance between the mind and the heart. In our hospital whoever does whatever work, he does because if he doesn't do he'll get scolded from the one above him and if he doesn't then he'll ignore his responsibility. No one does anything solely to help and heal the patient. And the whole atmosphere is not at all friendly. The senior person just scolds the junior and tries to get his work done and he tries to impress his own senior by deceiving him. No one here enjoys what they are doing, they are doing everything out of compulsion, work is a burden to them and they try to shed it off as soon as possible. I know this happens in all professions and no one is to be blamed particularly. But in this profession the aim is to restore and maintain good health and this aim can never be achieved in such a unhealthy work atmosphere and work attitudes. Doctors, patients, their attenders, each of us are unhealthy, who will bring good health?
There are so many diseases, so many common conditions where just counseling the patient can help him feel better and there is no need to prescribe drugs for everyone. But feelings are not taken care of in this profession. If a patient has no physical problem but still breathless (because of some mental fear), he is reprimanded and laughed at by the doctors, saying he is acting. They don't know it's not in the hands of the patient, he isn't acting purposefully, he is unconsciously being breathless and he just needs reassurance by doctors that he has no physical problem and he will feel better.
I don't prefer giving drugs for everything. Most of the common conditions get cured by itself in 2-3 days. Our body has good defense system against diseases. Before this defense system can act by giving drugs we weaken this natural system and we get dependent on drugs. Then a time comes when the diseases get resistant to the drugs and we need new drugs to replace them. One thing I have realized is that our mind plays a great role on our body. That is why in this age of stress so many diseases are increasing. Reducing mental stress should be the main aim of doctors if they want to heal their patients. Stress can cause diseases like heart disease, asthma, cancer, hypertension (raised bp). Even increased smoking, drinking causes lung and liver diseases.
Not only these diseases, I believe for any disease if we have a strong mind and if we really want we can ourselves heal our body with the strength of our mind without any medicines. Faith in ourselves, in God and having a healthy mind can reduce most diseases on Earth.
When I planned of becoming a doctor I had the dream of trying to bring good health into the lives of people. So am not satisfied by the present system of medicine which aims not for good health but just to cure a particular disease the patient is complaining of. Without health there is no happiness. I want to bring happiness into the lives of at least a few people till am alive, so I want to be a doctor. But not like conventional doctors - they don't focus the individual as a whole (mind and body) - they just see them as a heart case or lung case.
I recently got a book from British council library - it's name is 'Passionate medicine'. 8 doctors have written about their feelings and their journey as doctors. Am feeling very excited reading it. They all expressed feelings similar to what am feeling now and they have moved from conventional medicine to holistic medicine. Holistic medicine considers individual as a whole - gives importance to the patients' feelings and it helps the body naturally cure itself.
Homeopathy, acupuncture, meditation and so many more things, Ayurveda - these are all part of holistic medicine.
I have always felt interested in these alternative medicines, and after reading this book am feeling this is what I really want to do. I want to learn all these forms of holistic medicine and I want to use them according to what my patients need and want/prefer. Am getting the idea of learning and practicing as a general practitioner. I don't want to do the regular PG (post grad) that everyone does.
I want to learn the alternative medicines of different parts of the world and apply them in most useful way. You know I want to travel and see so many places - and I want to learn from people and places.
I know it will be slightly difficult to have a family and travel far, because you won't be able to shift your job place according to me but I think we can adjust and manage well. As much as I know you, I feel you too can't stay in a single place for too long.
I am feeling very interested in biomedical engineering also.. There is so much scope for new research and bringing drastic changes -advances in medical field through it.
But am facing a clash between my two interests, as always am in a dilemma between two opposite interests - I want to do both, but have to choose only one. On one side am feeling interested to consider health in all its aspects, to try to bring healthiness in the life of people including ours. To do this I want to go in the lines of rules of nature, not against it. Nature has its own way to cure disease, to maintain health and I want to assist people to attain health in a natural way. For example if we pay more attention to hygiene people will get less infection and once a person is infected and he gets fever - we need to understand that raising the temperature of the body is nature's way of fighting the bacteria in the body, which can't survive in that temperature. If we realize this we won't take paracetamol to reduce fever, we can suffer the fever for a few days and get well naturally without antibiotics - which not only kill the germs but also make our body weak from inside. The problem lies in both the doctors and patients' attitude. The patient needs to realize that he is himself responsible for his health and he should in every way possible try to get well himself rather than put all responsibility on the doctor to cure him with medicines. And the doctor instead of just prescribing medicines should make the patient realize why he is having the symptoms he is having, and what the patient can do to cure himself. The condition in India is so poor that this aim is just a dream which will be very difficult to achieve. So many factors in India are against health.
Illiteracy, lack of awareness of healthy ways of living, over-expectancy and over-dependence on doctors, resistance for any change, poverty, lack of values, morality all these factors together I'll have to fight against if I want people to be healthy. It's sure that single handedly I can't do much, but each single individual forms the system and being part of it, I don't want to just blame it and remain aloof. I want to do as much as I can.
The other interest which I am having is towards biomedical engineering. I have always had a scientific mind and the inquisitiveness to know the unknown. I know I'll really enjoy in researching new ideas which can tremendously impact the health of the population. But in trying to go in this direction I'll be ignoring nature, not only will I go against nature, I'll try to gain control over nature with science. If a child has got blind I'll try to develop ways to help him see artificially, if a person's organs are not working properly I'll try to make artificial organs to sustain his life through tissue engineering, if a person has genetic defect I'll try to correct it by changing his genes. And one day surely man will triumph in manipulating nature in this way and dictating nature according to his own wish. He will create creatures with all qualities that he want, he will try to manipulate himself, to increase his physical and mental abilities. He will become God and he won't consider the rules of nature. But I respect nature as God and I have strong faith that the rules of nature are the best rules that anyone can make. It is these rules of nature that has created and sustained life on this planet for so many millions of years. And once we take control over nature and go against it, it will lead to a chaotic state when nature won't be able to sustain life anymore and we will move towards our own decadence - destruction. To think in a broader aspect I feel that this is also a rule of nature, nature had started with small creatures and slowly triumphed with creating us humans - it's biggest achievement. Like in an individualistic level if we are born, it is a rule we should die, similarly nature's creations also should be destroyed one day so that it can make new ones. Since we are the ultimate creation it is us probably who will be the cause of our own destruction because of our power craving attitude.
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